A Fanboy's Response to the Real-Life Superhero Movement

Well it was bound to happen at some point.  Frankly, I'm a little surprised that it didn't happen a lot sooner.  And somewhere in the far regions of my psyche is a 10 year old boy who is absolutely ecstatic about the Real Life Superhero Movement, but the 36 year old me?  Not so much.  The 36 year old me thinks someone's going to get hurt, or maybe even killed very soon.

Oops, spoke too late...

What you just witnessed with those two videos is the rise and fall of Phoenix Jones, Seattle's very own masked crime-fighter.  I'm sure his intentions are good, but if you're going to walk the mean streets of a major city righting wrongs and beating up bad guys, and you choose to do this whist dressed in a costume that makes you look ridiculous, you better make damn sure you can turn your neck.  Batman learned it in the movies (although let's be honest, it took five of them before he finally got the hint) so there's no reason why some steroided out fanboy with a secret superhero lair in the back of the comic shop he works at can't figure it out.  You're your own worst enemy Phoenix Jones.  Just sayin'.
 

Detailing the Experience of Seeing Roger Waters Perform THE WALL

*Just a word of warning before reading further.  What you're about to read was originally posted on my Facebook profile on December 10th 2010.  Since the vast number of you who are following my blog are my Facebook friends chances are you already read it.  But fear not, for what I'm about to post is a "special edition" that I've re-written at certain points.  There are also a couple video-postings that weren't included when I initially wrote this so please sit back, do what you've got to do to get yourself relaxed, and enjoy...*

December 10th 2010...

It's been two days and it's still sinking in.  You see, The Wall was a concert I never thought I'd ever get to see.  When Pink Floyd initially released the album in late-1979 there were only 18 live performances and only two of those were in the United States.  Then Roger Waters left the group and only performed The Wall as a solo-act on the remains of the Berlin Wall in 1990, and that was it.  I more or less accepted that I was probably never going to see this performed live, the way it's always been meant to be seen.  And for a long time, like so many other Pink Floyd fans,  I have had no choice but to be cool with that. 

 

Now I want to give you a little history lesson so you have some perspective on what The Wall is all about mainly because I know my mother is reading this and she has no idea who Roger Waters is and only a passing realization of who Pink Floyd is.  

The Wall is a concept album that tells the story of a rock star named Pink (an inside joke with the band because up until that point one of the most asked questions they faced by fans was "Who is Pink Floyd?" - kind of like Alice Cooper) who builds a thematic wall in his head separating himself from the rest of the world.  

There were two major events that influenced Roger Waters as he was writing the songs for this rock opera.  

One being the death of his father.  Eric Fletcher Waters was a member of the British Communist Party and a conscientious objector who upon witnessing the evils of the German Nazi Party joined the British Army and died in Anzio Italy on February 18th 1944.  Roger was 5 months old.

 

The other influence was the mental breakdown of Pink Floyd founder and former front-man Syd Barrett. 

                       Before...

                        

                       After...

Of course that's simplifying things greatly since the whole album is seeping with autobiographical details (the breakdown of Waters' marriage at the time being a major one).  However, the true catalyst of the album was a performance during the band's In The Flesh tour in 1977 where a particularly obnoxious crowd made Waters mention that he wished there was a wall separating the band from the audience.  

The funny thing is, as popular as the album was when it was first released (it was the biggest selling album of that year) the band as a whole lost money on the venture initially.  Most of this was due to bad investments but I also suspect a lot of it had to do with the very elaborate stage show.  

Roger Waters envisioned the show split in two.  The first half involving the literal building of a wall separating the band from the audience, Act I ending with the last brink being put in place.  The second half details Pink's attempts at communicating with those outside his wall and builds towards it's eventual destruction, which of course ends the show.  The characters featured in the story are represented by huge inflated puppets...

The overbearing School Master... 

The overprotective Mother...

The praying mantis-like Wife...

And of course the Wall itself...

...which is used to project literally hundreds of images one after the other, bombarding the audience with a barrage of animation and film-clips from various media detailing the inner struggle going on in Pink's head.  

For example...

The initial tour was extremely expensive, which explains why there were only 18 performances.  Not long afterword, Water left Pink Floyd and The Wall would not be heard live for thirty-years.

Flash forward three and a half years ago.  Roger Waters did a tour where he performed Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety.  I saw this show with my wife at Shoreline Amphitheater and up until two days ago it was the best concert I've ever been to.  I have a feeling that the success of the Dark Side of the Moon tour is what made Waters decide to do a proper tour of The Wall to commemorate the 30th anniversary of of its release, but that's only speculation on my part.  

In any case, the tour was announced about a year and a half ago, and I just knew I wasn't going to be able to see it.  For a show like The Wall, seats are everything, and the good seats for this show were very expensive.  There was just no way we were going to be able to afford it.  So once again I had to accept the idea that I was never to get to see this.  And up until about two hours before the show that's was where my head remained.

Then my wife called and said she had gotten a "very good tip" on one of her deliveries.  She had me call the box-office to see if any of the cheapie-nosebleed seats were available and I figured, "OK, cheap seats are still seats," so I looked into it.  It turned out there were two "upper-level obscured view" seats going for a very reasonable price, so I got those.  I figured we could keep our eye open for any empty seats in a better location and move there for the second act.  

We arrived at the Shark Tank and made our way in.  The person at the door scanned our tickets and said "Oh, you've been upgraded.  Go over to the information booth to get your new seat assignment."  HOLY SHIT!!  We felt like we had just won the lottery.  Our new seats were now in Section 128, Row 20 (look those up to see just how awesome they are).  We were so close to the stage that I felt the rush of heat coming off of the pyrotechnics as the show started.

This YouTube video I found was shot by someone sitting very close to where we were sitting...

And what a show it was!!  There is no way I can even come close to explaining how incredible this show is so I'm not even going to bother.  What I will say is how the general tone of the audience was so cool and welcoming.  Complete strangers walking up to you and asking if you're enjoying the show during the intermission, everyone having this silly grin on their faces and just being happy to be there (although I have a feeling this might have a lot to do with the "mysterious" thick cloud of smoke that enveloped the place within minutes of the lights coming down).  Like me, no one here thought they would ever live to see this show, and we were all grateful just to be there.

So there.  That's the story of my favorite concert.  Thanks for reading.  I leave you with the grand finale of the show - 'Outside the Wall' which ends with a most awesome shout-out from Roger Waters to John Lennon, exactly 30 years to the day after died in a senseless act of violence.  "He may have been a dreamer, but he's not the only one..."

Book Review: FULL DARK, NO STARS

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge Stephen King fan.  He has a style that feels good in my head as I'm reading.  I anticipate the arrival of each new King book the way your average crackhead might relate to, and that suits me fine.  It's been that way for about as long as I can remember and God willing it will stay that way for many years to come.   

What I'm trying to say is, please understand that I personally find something to like in everything Stephen King writes, so it should come as no surprise that this review is not going to be a negative one. 

What I will do is give my honest opinion based on what I call the four levels that make up most people's knowledge of the man and his books. 

The Levels are as follows...

Level 4 - You have never read a Stephen King novel but you've heard of him.  You're not really into "horror stuff" and you're shocked when I tell you THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION is based on a Stephen King story.

Level 3 - You've read one or two (or three or four) of his books, mostly because you're either dating or are married to someone who pestered you into doing it  You liked it well enough, but you're still not all that into the "horror stuff".  My wife is a perfect example of a Level 3.

Level 2 - You were a huge fan at one point in your life but you've "outgrown" him.  

Level 1 - You are the choir and I'm the preacher.

Now that we have that out of the way let's move forward with the review shall we?

FULL DARK, NO STARS is a book that is made up of four separate stories.  Three of the stories are a little over a hundred pages long while a fourth is about thirty.  Those of you who feel King tends to get a little wordy have nothing to fear with this one.  Each one of these stories move very fast.  This is King firing on all cylinders.  And those of you who might be turned off by the supernatural nature of a lot of King's books have nothing to fear either.  With the exception of an allegorical ghost and a roadside salesman who may or may not be the devil, all of these stories are very much grounded in reality.  But be warned, that doesn't mean there aren't certain parts of this book that will haunt your dreams.  In fact, as King himself says in the afterword, "The stories in this book are harsh.  You may have found them hard to read in places.  If so, be assured that I found them equally hard to write in places." 

So using my 4 level system, let's break this book down story by story shall we?


The story 1922 takes place in the same year as the title.  It tells the tale of a lethally stubborn man who paves a road to hell for both him and his 14 year old son when he decides to murder his wife.  

Level 4 - Hmm.  This one's pretty dark, but it's a great American Gothic.  Check it out!  


Level 3 - Do you like a great page turner?  Well do you?  Of course you do.


Level 2 - This is King channeling Steinbeck circa-GRAPES OF WRATH and du Maurier circa-REBECCA (with just a hint of Chandler circa-DOUBLE INDEMINITY.)  In many ways, I think it's probably the darkest thing he's written since APT PUPIL.

Level 1 - You're going to love it. 

OK, next story...

BIG DRIVER is at its core a revenge fantasy tale in the tradition of DEATH WISH or I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.

Level 4 - You might want to skip this one.


Level 3 -  Between you and me, this is probably my least favorite of the four.  Please don't read too much into that.  It's very readable and it keeps you on the edge of your seat all the way through, but a central part of this particular tale involves a very brutal rape and this part was pretty hard to get through.  It's not that King goes into gory detail, but he writes in a very matter-of-fact style that really drives it home in a way that is all too real without beating you over the head with what's happening.  Powerful stuff, but it's not for everyone.

Level 2 - The problem I have with this story is, you kind of have to use some suspension of disbelief in order to enjoy it in the last half, because the lead character makes a few questionable decisions for the sake of the story.  


Level 1 - You're going to love it.


NEXT!


FAIR EXTENSION reads like one of those great TWILIGHT ZONE episodes.  It's the tale of a terminally ill man who is sold an extension on his life at the cost of a the life of the one person he hates the most.  Seems like a cut and dry deal doesn't it?  Of course it isn't.

Level 4 - Did you like The Twilight Zone?  Come on, I know you did.  Everyone likes The Twilight Zone.  Anyway, if so you'll really like this story.  At 30 pages (and that includes the title page) it's the shortest story in the book and if you have some time to kill at Barnes and Noble this would make a nice read.

Level 3 - See above statement.

Level 2 - This one is a lot of fun.  It would have been perfectly placed in SKELETON CREW (my person favorite King short-story collection.)

Level 1 - You're going to love it!

And now for the grand finale!

Mark my words, A GOOD MARRIAGE (the last and in my opinion best of the bunch) is going to make the next great Stephen King movie.  When I think about what someone like David Fincher would do with this one my geek-meter hits red.

Level 4 - Imagine you've been married for over 25 years.  Imagine one day you find a box belonging to your significant other that you shouldn't have.  What's in the box?  Oh, very bad things.  The worst of things when you stop and think about it.  What would you do?  

Level 3 - Are you into true-crime?  Are you familiar with the BTK murders in Kansas?  This story takes it's influence directly from that case.

Level 2 - As I read this story I imagined it was a sequel to STRAWBERRY SPRING and I found it rather enjoyable.

Level 1 - You're going to love it!

There.  Over.  Out.  'Night all! 

And now a few words from our nation's leader...

Average Saturday In My Misspent Youth

"... and you can bet your last money, it's all gonna be a stone gas, honey! I'm Don Cornelius, and as always in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul!"

On Saturday mornings as a little kid, these were the words I would anxiously wait to hear.  For those of you who don't know, the above quote was a catchphrase the immortally cool Don Cornelius would use to end his television program Soul Train...

...and when I was 5 years old hearing it meant only one thing.  It meant it was time for Chiller Diller.  Chiller Diller was a Creature Features-style television program that aired on KTVU Channel 2 in the 1970s...

...and it played a huge role in my meticulously planned Saturday schedule at that time.  

When I was a kid my Saturdays usually went as follows:

I would often get up early and stuff my face with a heaping bowl of Captain Crunch, followed by a nice helping of cartoons.  'Challenge of the Super-Friends' was my personal favorite but I was also partial to Thundar the Barbarian (God I miss Saturday morning cartoons!).  Soon enough the rest of my family took over the living room television to watch sports.  Everyone in my family loved sports.  I was outvoted.  Sports bored me to tears.  I've learned to appreciate it now but back then every game looked the same.  So after my banishment from the living room I would move into the kitchen area over by the sliding glass door, where we had our old black and white television set up and a small couch.  I would turn it on, put on Channel 2, and for some reason it always seemed to be during the last 10 minutes of Soul Train.  So I'd patiently wait for Mr. Cornelious' aforementioned famous catchphrase, sit through a couple of commercials then kick back on the little couch and watch the opening credits to Chiller Diller.  


It featured a clip of music from the movie 'Goldfinger'...

...played over a scene of two grave robbers crossing a creepy old cemetery, (it was years later that I realized this was the opening scene from 'Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman'.)  Then the words CHILLER DILLER would bleed through as the deep baritone voice of the KTVU announcer would break in.   

"Welcome to Chiller Diller, todays movie is (insert horror movie title here)" 

And I would know I was in for a real treat if he followed this up with "Viewer discretion is advised" because back then most local channels didn't bother to edit movies.  When they warned you about content they meant it. 

And for the next two hours I was transfixed.  Sometimes the movie would be too scary and I'd have to hide with my eyes peaking over the bar that separated the kitchen from this little TV area we had made.  Chiller Diller tended to show a lot of the Hammer Horror films.  Stuff like 'Curse of Frankenstein' and 'Horror of Dracula' - which reminds me of something.  For most people when you think of Dracula this is the image that comes to mind...

...but not me.


No way.  For me when you mention Dracula this is what comes to mind...

...Christopher Lee absolutely terrified me.  I still get chills just looking at this picture.  There is nothing human in those eyes.  I could not even be in house when Chiller Diller showed a Christopher Lee Dracula movie.  No way.  I had a violently frightened reaction to this man when I was a kid.  One look and instant nightmares.  Guaranteed.  On those days I'd just go outside and play until The Monstrous Movie came on at 2 o'clock.
  
The Monstrous Movie was another scary movie themed show that aired on KBHK Channel 44.  It eventually became Son of Svengoolie...

   ...which was a wonderful show that still has a very strong cult following (just check out all the YouTube postings).

For the most part, the stuff they showed on Monstrous Movie/Svengoolie was along the lines of the old Universal horror flicks, so it was a little easier for me to sit through a whole movie without hiding.  

The movie would end at 4 o'clock and unless the Abbott and Costello movie that followed had a monster in it I'd go outside to play for another couple hours before being called in for dinner. 

At 8 o'clock another scary movie show would start on Channel 44.  This one was called Shock Theater...

 ...this show played a lot of the old Roger Corman stuff.  I remember this was usually the show we'd watch as a family.  I have a very vivid memory of watching Vincent Price in The House of Wax for the first time on Shock Theater.  

Then it was bath time and off to bed when the movie was over, where I would pretend to go to sleep.  I'd listen for my parents to go to bed (which was usually right after the news) at which point I would listen for my dad's snoring before sneaking out into my little TV room in the kitchen area where I would turn the old black and white back on and end the day back on Channel 2.  Because it was time for the one and only Creature Features with Bob Wilkins!!

And if the movie wasn't too scary (and I'll admit, sometimes it was) I would end my night watching my 4th consecutive scary movie.  I didn't sleep all that much when I was 5 and I probably had no business watching some of the stuff I was watching.  But the way I look at it is this, it was a different time, and a different place, and sometimes I think I'd give just about anything to go back there.  Even if it's just to visit.